Narcissistic Parental Abuse
Narcissists cannot parent. They lack empathy and children need an empathetic parent to understand what they are wanting and feeling from the second they take their first breath.
They will use their children in whatever way they can – keep a partner trapped, give them status, offer them emotional support.
But the child gets nothing in return.
Narcissistic parents are self absorbed, blaming, controlling, intolerant of others’ views, unaware of their children’s needs and the effects of their behaviours on their children, and they yet want their children to see them as the “perfect”, supporting and loving parent.
Characteristics of Narcissistic Parents
- favouritism of one child over the others
- highly critical
- bullying behaviour
- will try and turn them against the other parent with lies or over the top gestures (usually involving money)
- severe disciplinary methods
- inconsistent attention
- withdrawing from child
- parental alienation
The outcomes for children of having a narcissistic parent are not good either. They feel overly responsible for other people. They tend to unaware of their own feelings, needs and experience as they have not been valued for being themselves.
Impact of Having A Narcissistic Parent
- low self esteem
- behavioural problems
- child tries hard to be perfect and gets disproportionately upset when they make a mistake
- struggles to form relationships with peers
- isolates themselves
- depressed and suicidal
Learning to deal with the realisation of having a narcissistic parent can take time and hurt like hell. Childhoods are stolen and life will be a battle. But you can learn to manage the situation for both yourself and your children and together we can nurture you towards a more hopeful and free life.
These blog posts may help give you some insight: