59 ways to disarm a narcissist

1. Set clear boundaries: Narcissists tend to push boundaries and manipulate others for their own gain. Setting clear and firm boundaries is essential in disarming a narcissist.
2. Use empathy: While narcissists lack empathy themselves, using empathy can be a powerful tool in disarming them. It allows you to connect with them on a human level and defuse their defensive mechanisms.
3. Avoid engaging in power struggles: Narcissists thrive on power struggles and will often try to engage you in one. Refuse to participate and maintain your composure.
4. Be assertive, not aggressive: Aggressive behaviour can trigger narcissistic rage, making the situation worse. Instead, be assertive in expressing your needs and feelings, without attacking or belittling the narcissist.
5. Document interactions: Keep a record of interactions with the narcissist, including any manipulative behaviour or abusive incidents. This can serve as evidence and help you stay grounded in reality.
6. Practice self-care: Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally draining. Make sure to prioritise self-care and seek support from trusted friends, family, or a therapist.
7. Avoid feeding their ego: Narcissists have an insatiable need for attention and validation. Avoid feeding their ego by refusing to shower them with excessive praise or admiration.
8. Challenge their false beliefs: Narcissists often have inflated and unrealistic beliefs about themselves. Challenge their grandiose notions and encourage them to see reality more objectively.
9. Recognize their vulnerabilities: Beneath their façade, narcissists are often deeply insecure. Recognize their vulnerabilities, but do not enable or pity them.
10. Be prepared for their manipulations: Narcissists are skilled manipulators and may try to gaslight or distort reality. Be aware of their tactics and stay grounded in your own truth.
11. Don’t take their behaviour personally: Narcissists’ behaviour is not about you; it’s about their own deep-seated insecurities. Don’t take their insults or criticisms personally.
12. Set consequences for bad behaviour: Narcissists need to understand that their actions have consequences. Establish consequences for their bad behaviour and follow through with them.
13. Limit contact if possible: If the narcissist is not someone you are required to interact with, consider limiting or cutting off contact to protect yourself from further harm.
14. Don’t expect them to change: Narcissistic personality disorder is deeply ingrained and difficult to change. Don’t expect the narcissist to suddenly become self-aware or remorseful.
15. Use the grey rock technique: The grey rock technique involves being unresponsive and emotionally neutral when dealing with a narcissist, depriving them of the attention they crave.
16. Seek professional help: If you are in a relationship with a narcissist or struggling to cope with their behaviour, consider seeking therapy or counselling for support.
17. Avoid falling into their trap of blame-shifting: Narcissists often try to shift blame onto others to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. Refuse to accept unwarranted blame and hold them accountable.
18. Stay true to your values: Narcissists may try to manipulate you into compromising your values or beliefs. Stay true to yourself and hold onto your integrity.
19. Use humour strategically: Humour can sometimes diffuse tension and disarm a narcissist, but use it strategically and avoid sarcasm or mockery, which can provoke their rage.
20. Keep emotions in check: Narcissists feed off emotional reactions, so try to keep your emotions in check when dealing with them. Stay calm and composed.
21. Recognize their need for control: Narcissists have a strong need for control and may try to manipulate or dominate others. Refuse to be controlled and assert your autonomy.
22. Don’t apologise unnecessarily: Narcissists are known for their lack of accountability and may try to shift blame onto you. Avoid apologising for things that are not your fault or taking unnecessary blame.
23. Don’t engage in circular arguments: Narcissists are notorious for circular arguments that go nowhere and only serve to frustrate and exhaust you. Avoid getting caught in these traps and disengage.
24. Validate their emotions, not their behaviour: While it’s important to acknowledge their emotions, do not validate or condone their harmful behaviour. Make it clear that their behaviour is unacceptable.
25. Use the “broken record” technique: The broken record technique involves calmly repeating your boundaries or statements without engaging in further arguments. This can help you stay focused and not get pulled into their manipulations.
26. Practice self-compassion: Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally taxing, so remember to practise self-compassion. Be kind to yourself and prioritise your well-being.
27. Educate yourself about narcissism: Understanding the dynamics of narcissism can help you navigate the situation more effectively. Educate yourself about narcissistic personality disorder and its traits.
28. Don’t expect them to validate your feelings: Narcissists often lack empathy and may not validate your emotions. Seek validation from other sources and do not rely on them for emotional support.
29. Keep your expectations realistic: Narcissists are unlikely to change or suddenly become remorseful. Keep your expectations realistic and focus on protecting yourself rather than changing them.
30. Be prepared for smear campaigns: If you stand up to a narcissist, be prepared for them to launch a smear campaign against you. Stay calm, maintain your integrity, and avoid engaging in their tactics.
31. Recognise their need for admiration: Narcissists crave constant admiration and validation. Recognize this need, but do not feel responsible for fulfilling it or becoming their source of validation.
32. Avoid getting pulled into their drama: Narcissists often create drama and chaos to gain attention and control. Avoid getting pulled into their drama and stay focused on your own well-being.
33. Practise assertive communication: Assertive communication involves expressing your needs and feelings clearly and respectfully, without aggression or passivity. Practise assertive communication when dealing with a narcissist.
34. Don’t let them project their insecurities onto you: Narcissists often project their own insecurities onto others, blaming them for their own flaws. Do not accept their projections and stay true to your own reality.
35. Seek support from a therapist or counsellor: Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally challenging, so seek support from a therapist or counsellor to help you process and cope with the situation.
36. Avoid falling into their pity trap: Narcissists may try to gain sympathy and pity by playing the victim. Do not fall into their pity trap and remain grounded in reality.
37. Keep important information confidential: Narcissists may try to extract information from you to use against you later. Keep important information confidential and do not disclose more than necessary.
38. Stand up for yourself: Narcissists may try to intimidate or belittle you. Stand up for yourself and assert your boundaries assertively.
39. Practice self-assertion: Self-assertion involves recognizing and advocating for your own needs and wants. Practice self-assertion when dealing with a narcissist.
40. Limit your emotional investment: Narcissists are notorious for their emotional manipulation, so limit your emotional investment in the relationship. Protect yourself from their toxic behaviour.
41. Avoid getting pulled into their pity party: Narcissists may try to garner sympathy by playing the victim or exaggerating their suffering. Avoid getting pulled into their pity party and remain objective.
42. Don’t engage in their one-upmanship game: Narcissists may try to constantly one-up you or compare themselves to others to boost their ego. Avoid engaging in this game and refuse to participate in their need for superiority.
43. Set clear and firm boundaries: Establish clear and firm boundaries with the narcissist to protect yourself from their manipulations. Be consistent in enforcing these boundaries.
44. Practice self-care: Dealing with a narcissist can be draining, so prioritise self-care. Take care of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being.
45. Avoid feeding their ego: Narcissists thrive on attention and admiration. Avoid feeding their ego by not constantly praising or validating them.
46. Don’t try to change them: Narcissists are resistant to change and may not be open to feedback or criticism. Accept that you cannot change them and focus on managing your own reactions and emotions.
47. Use assertive body language: Your body language can convey a lot. Use assertive body language, such as maintaining eye contact, standing tall, and speaking confidently, when dealing with a narcissist.
48. Don’t engage in their blame game: Narcissists often blame others for their mistakes or shortcomings. Do not engage in their blame game and refuse to accept unwarranted blame.
49. Keep your cool: Narcissists may try to provoke you or push your buttons to get a reaction. Practise emotional self-regulation and keep your cool in their presence.
50. Recognize their manipulation tactics: Narcissists may use various manipulation tactics, such as gaslighting, guilt-tripping, or love-bombing. Recognize these tactics and do not fall for them.
51. Hold them accountable: Hold the narcissist accountable for their actions and behaviours. Do not let them escape responsibility or make excuses for their harmful behaviour.
52. Don’t try to compete with them: Narcissists often see life as a competition and may try to compete with you in various aspects. Avoid getting caught in this competition and focus on your own path.
53. Keep evidence of their behaviour: If you need to confront a narcissist or seek legal action, keep evidence of their behaviour, such as emails, texts, or recordings, to support your case.
54. Limit contact if possible: If the narcissist is not a close family member or someone you must interact with regularly, consider limiting or cutting off contact to protect yourself from their toxic behaviour.
55. Avoid trying to rescue or fix them: It’s not your responsibility to rescue or fix a narcissist. Recognize that their issues are deep-rooted and beyond your control.
56. Don’t fall for their charm: Narcissists can be charming and charismatic, but it’s often a façade. Do not fall for their charm and be wary of their manipulations.
57. Keep conversations focused: When communicating with a narcissist, keep the conversations focused and avoid getting sidetracked by their deflections or diversions.
58. Don’t take their insults personally: Narcissists may use insults or put-downs to belittle you. Do not take their insults personally and recognize that it’s a reflection of their insecurities.
59. Use assertive “I” statements: When expressing your feelings or needs to a narcissist, use assertive “I” statements, such as “I feel” or “I need,” to avoid sounding accusatory and to assert your boundaries clearly.