Everyone’s experience of recovery from narcissistic abuse is different but through our work with hundreds of people, we have seen the same impact crop up over and over again. “One of the things that happened when I was going through the shitty relationship, as I call it, was that I lost any identity of who I was or what I felt. I’d spent so many years being told what I was and felt and needed.”
I didn’t trust my own feelings anymore. I didn’t trust my own thoughts anymore. Every decision felt like a fraud.
I have personally been through recovery and remember exactly what it feels like. So it is with true empathy for you I write this blog which in turn I hope gives you the strength to heal. My wish for you is you have a secure base to explore your own feelings and to regain the trust in yourself needed to delve deep for true healing.
I remember we were snuggled up on the sofa. I saw a message come through that said, let me know when I can come f**k you. And I read that with my own eyes. And my partner denied that message even existed.
It is important that you understand these stages because you can’t get from Despair to Self Actualising in one step. It is a process. The stages are not linear, they are more of a spiral. A journey around the stages. There is no timescale and no step by step approach, stages are often revisited as things are re-triggered or re-evaluated with a new level of awareness. But it’s not as scary as it sounds once you know how to spot the stages and exactly what to do to move on.
Therapy can be incredible helpful in moving you through these stages. It’s tough going it alone. And often there are very real physical changes that make it harder. It’s not just all in your head. It never was. It was always mind, body and soul. Here’s to you for getting this far, my guess is you’re at stage three already or you wouldn’t have read this far. You’ve got this. And I’m here to support you every step of the way.