Providing specialist support for anyone attempting to co-parent with a narcissistic ex

You have ended the relationship with your ex, or perhaps they cruelly discarded you, and you are trying to rebuild your life. But you have kids together and so it’s never that simple.

"You can't heal in the same environment you got sick"

You are trying to put boundaries in place but they just keep going around them usually by using the children. You thought, or rather hoped, that they would (despite their obvious flaws) put the children first.  But they can’t and won’t.  And so you are left with the dilemma of “who do I save, myself or the children?”

We believe that it is possible to do both, but it starts with you

You remember on flights when the attendant is doing their safety talk and they tell you to put your own oxygen mask on first before helping your children into theirs?

 

There’s a really good reason for doing it that way.  You are no use to your child if you have passed out!

 

The same is true in this situation.  Your children are learning from you all the time.  You are their role model.

 

Your ex demands that they are obedient, that they conform to their demands and that only their wishes and feelings and opinions are heard.  You know this because it is exactly how they treated you.

 

And they will continue to treat you this way, only they will do it by hurting the children.  They know that they can get you to do whatever they want if they threaten (subtly or covertly) to hurt the children.  This may be by ruining your relationship with them.  Making them believe you are a monster and they should be scared of you.  Or by smaller actions like not allowing them to share clothing between houses.  Failing to notify you of medication they need.  

 

And every time you back down or jump through whatever hoops they put down next, you are back in the lion’s den, being controlled by your ex. 

HOW DO WE KNOW ALL THIS?

Because we lived it.

 

Each one of The Nurturing Coach team has lived experience of a narcissistic ex.  We have felt lost, confused, angry, frustrated, defeated.

 

And we have seen the cycle continue through the children. We have experienced the lies, the manipulations, the physical attacks, the humiliation. And felt the sorrow and not knowing what to do for the best.

 

We have felt the disappointment of turning to professionals for guidance and support only to be belittled and made to feel we were overly dramatic (which obviously is exactly what the ex used to say).  We have been re-triggered and abused by the system designed to keep us and our children self.

 

And we had enough.

 

So The Nurturing Coach was born out of a desire to fight back. To ensure that no-one ever felt that way.  That others knew they weren’t alone and weren’t imagining what was happening.

WHO ARE WE?

Sarah Squires

Owner and founder of The Nurturing Coach.

Therapist, social worker, empath. 

“Consider us your friend, your lighthouse, your port in a storm”

co-parenting expert

Dr Rachel Cason

Counsellor and Life Story Therapist.

 

“I am a Level 5 trained counsellor with experience in working with trauma.  I have personal and professional experience of working with issues around narcissistic abuse and empowering others to better understand their own experience”

narcissistic abuse uk

Adele Amanda

Expert Narcissistic Abuse Therapist

“My specialist role is working with people affecting by narcissistic abuse.  I also work as a psychotherapist/counsellor with adults and children.  I am trained in Life Coaching, NLP and CBT”

Narcissistic Abuse uk

NB Adele’s situation is still volatile and so she uses an avatar

We provide specialist treatments for PTSD because we know that one of the hardest parts in moving forward is learning to live without fear. 

 

Each of us is committed to you.  To providing you with a safe environment to tell your story and to heal.  To be non-judgemental and provide advice where needed.  We are empathetic, compassionate and understanding. 

To find out more, head to our Facebook page