Ask yourself the following questions to determine who you are dealing with:
Do you regularly emotionally drained?
Narcissistic partners tend to monopolise conversations and demand attention, leaving little room for their partner to express their own thoughts and feelings. This can leave the victim feeling emotionally drained and unsupported.
Do you feel unimportant to them?
Narcissistic partners often have an inflated sense of self-importance and may belittle or dismiss their partner’s opinions, feelings, and accomplishments. This can lead the victim to feel unimportant and undervalued.
Do you feel manipulated?
Narcissistic partners may use manipulation tactics, such as gaslighting, to make their partner doubt their own perceptions and reality. This can leave the victim feeling confused, isolated, and manipulated.
Do you feel you are constantly being criticised?
Narcissistic partners may be overly critical of their partner’s behavior and may make them feel like they can never do anything right. This can lead to feelings of low self-esteem and self-doubt.
Do you feel isolated?
Narcissistic partners may try to isolate their partner from their friends and family or demand that they spend all their time with them. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and social isolation for the victim.
Do you feel like you are walking on eggshells?
Narcissistic partners may have unpredictable and volatile moods, making it difficult for the victim to predict how they will react to certain situations. This can lead to the victim feeling like they are constantly walking on eggshells around their partner.
Do you feel like you are responsible for their happiness?
Narcissistic partners may make their happiness contingent on their partner’s actions and behaviors. This can leave the victim feeling responsible for their partner’s emotional well-being and can be emotionally exhausting.
Do you feel like you are being controlled?
Narcissistic partners may try to control their partner’s behavior, such as telling them what to wear, who to spend time with, or how to act in social situations. This can lead the victim to feel like they are being controlled or manipulated.
Do you feel like you are being used?
Narcissistic partners may use their partner for their own gain, such as for money, status, or emotional support. This can leave the victim feeling used and undervalued.
Do you feel like you cannot be yourself?
Narcissistic partners may have rigid expectations for how their partner should behave, think, and feel. This can lead the victim to feel like they cannot be themselves or express their true thoughts and feelings without fear of judgement or criticism.
Do you feel like you are constantly defending yourself?
Narcissistic partners may frequently accuse their partner of wrongdoing, even when they have done nothing wrong. This can leave the victim feeling like they are constantly defending themselves and their actions.
Do you feel like you are being emotionally abused?
Narcissistic partners may engage in emotional abuse tactics, such as yelling, name-calling, or threatening behavior. This can leave the victim feeling emotionally abused and traumatised.
Do you feel like your partner (or other person) does not listen to you?
Narcissistic partners may have poor listening skills and may interrupt or talk over their partner during conversations. This can leave the victim feeling unheard and dismissed.
Do you feel like you are constantly giving but receiving little in return?
Narcissistic partners may be self-centered and focused on their own needs and desires, leaving little room for their partner’s needs. This can leave the victim feeling like they are constantly giving to their partner without receiving much in return.
Do you feel like you are in a one-sided relationship?
Narcissistic partners may be focused on their own needs and desires, without considering their partner’s needs or feelings. This can lead to the victim feeling like they are in a one-sided relationship, where their partner’s needs always come first.
The honest answer is, only you know. You know them far better than we do and so what is more important is how you feel about those answers.
Whilst you can do lots of quizzes online to see if they are narcissistic, they all focus on them and their behaviour. Here at The Nurturing Coach our focus always has been and always will be on YOU! If you find it validating to have a label for their behaviour, by all means use one (we all have!) but to us, what is important is you and your feelings.
However, if you answered yes to most of these questions, it suggests that your relationship with this person isn’t healthy. This might be a situational problem (they/you are extra stressed and not connecting) or a personality problem e.g. narcissistic. Either way, the fact you felt compelled to do this quiz means you have concerns about this relationship.
What you do with this information is now up to you. We suggest taking some time to digest how you feel about the questions and your answers and whether this has been the situation for a long time.
Maybe ask yourself or journal on the following questions:
- Have I been happy, overall, in this relationship?
- What is my biggest concern right now?
- What would I like to improve the most?
- How long can I put up with this situation?
- Why am I willing to put up with it?
- How open do I think the other person is to talking about my concerns?
- What does that tell me about them and us?
If you feel the answers to these questions have given you some clarity about who you are dealing with and you believe they display narcissistic traits, you will find lots of helpful information on this website including videos, workshops, blog posts and ebooks covering every element of narcissistic relationships.
We also offer courses and online therapy for you to talk through your feelings and discuss possible next steps. Whatever you decide to do, it is important you make your own feelings and well-being a priority. We are here when you are ready to put yourself first.
Take care x