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Circle Of Security Parenting Programme

Master one of the key principles of Parallel Parenting, Autonomy, with this attachment based parenting course designed to help parents reconnect with their child and create a secure base for their children to become emotionally secure

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"Anxiety, feeling at capacity so that small things feel like big deal, difficulty hearing/listening to kids and being able to comprehend, short attention span, not feeling good enough, really hard on myself, forgetful, brain gets stuck /frozen mid sentence, panic when accusations from nex, sensitive to noise when stressed, sometimes overreact to normal kid noises and behavior, worry that I’m causing damage to the kids"

Parent's experience of Parenting with PTSD

How Narcissistic Abuse Affects Your Parenting

The Nervous System

After abuse, you doubt yourself and your ex constantly undermines your parenting.  It’s hard to feel confident in what you are doing when it feels like you are under the microscope!  This adds to your stress and prolongs the trauma, making attachment and emotional regulation difficult. 

This diagram shows the impact parenting has on the nervous system, which plays an important role in emotional regulation.  After abuse, these factors are more pronounced because of what you have experienced.  This often results in PTSD and complex PTSD which further impacts your nervous system and your brain.

Trauma

PTSD is chronic or toxic stress and it causes brain injury.  As you can see from the diagram, it affects the key part of your brain which is essential for emotional regulation – the amygdala.

The amygdala helps coordinate responses to things in your environment, especially those that trigger an emotional response. This structure plays an important role in fear and anger.  An injured amygdala makes you hypervigilant and over-responsive.
 
Fear and anger are the opposite of love and attachment.  Circle Of Security can help you to recognise and manage your trauma in your parenting so that your child doesn’t experience fear and anger from you on a consistent basis.

Emotional Regulation

Your child will be experiencing periods of dysregulation.  That is normal and natural, we all do.  However, narcissists are consistently in a state of dysregulation (anger, silent treatment, anxiety) and your PTSD means that emotional regulation is difficult for you as well.  This can leave a child without any co-regulation opportunities to help them develop self regulation strategies.  This can present as:

  • highly anxious
  • avoidant/withdrawing
  • self harming
  • anger and aggression towards self and others

Attachment

Co-regulation is the foundation of a secure attachment.  When children experience anxiety, they signal to their caregiver that they need them.  This could be through crying, hitting, hiding or freezing.  They are designed to bring the child into close and protective relationships.

 

However, for parents who have experienced abuse, those behaviours designed to pull you close could cause the opposite reaction in you.  You may become triggered and overwhelmed with your own emotions.  This leaves the child without the opportunity to bond and leaves them doubting your ability to respond to their needs.  This affects their confidence and view of themselves, others and the world.

"Control over emotions and reacting rather than responding. Finding the joy again."

what a parent feels they need in order to co-parent more effectively

Creating A Secure Attachment

The Circle Of Security Is A Visual Map Of Attachment

Creating a secure attachment to a child affected by narcissistic abuse is essential at giving them the best possible chance at experiencing safety despite the trauma of the situation.  Secure children 

  • Enjoy more happiness with their parents
  • Feel less anger at their parents
  • Turn to their parents for help when in trouble
  • Solve problems on their own
  • Have higher self esteem
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How Circle Of Security Can Help You

Less conflict and perceived struggle with their child

Increased experience of comfort, ease, and positive feeling in parenting

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Less negative attributions regarding their child’s motivations

Increased sense of connection with their child

Mother

Circle Of Security Participant

"I have learned a lot, and I am already putting it into practice. I was feeling very overwhelmed at the beginning of the programme, that I was at the mercy of my ex, and it helped me see that I can do so much with my daughter that is so powerful and is helping our relationship."

""I recommend the Circle of Security parenting program because it offers support to parents with parenting while providing parents the opportunity to be healed from trauma""

Father

Circle Of Security Participant

"I can't recommend it highly enough. We feel that we understand ourselves and the influence that our parents had on our 'previous' parenting style so much better. We feel more connected and tuned in to our children"

mother

Circle Of Security Participant

"I reunited with my oldest son in the last few days. We were severely alienated since 28th August 2019. There's nothing more gratifying that doing things for those you love. I had placed my faith in the Circle Of Security framework and every day I prayed for him."

mother

Circle Of Security Participant

"I have never benefited so much from a course as I have done with the circle of security parenting. Una is a gem of an individual whose aura, warmth, presence compliments the delivery of this course so well. I have learnt invaluable tools and lessons I will carry with me for life. The course has taught me how to support my child, help them through their ups and downs and stay with them in those difficult moments. This is more about you than your child and this course reaffirms this truth that yes, you are enough. Please don't delay in signing up, take that first step and you will definitely not be disappointed. Thank you Una"