Parenting Experts Reveal…
Lingering hostility causes the most damage to you and your children
The kids come back to you and you spend most of the time trying to “undo” whatever has wound them up at the other parent’s house.
They won’t open up to you and you don’t know how to help.
You can feel them drifting away from you and you don’t know how to stop it.
Parenting does not take place in a vacuum. It has been developing and taking shape for many years and perhaps even generations. Each parent-child relationship has its strengths and struggles that were already present before the relationship ended. These will have influenced how you went about separating and supporting your children through this transition. They will also be impacting your parenting skills and capacity post-relationship.
Understanding and appreciating your own uniqueness as well as your child’s can help to navigate the often turbulent co-parenting relationship. When you focus on nurturing the relationship with your children, you will find it much easier to make effective decisions about managing life and parenting, even with a difficult ex.
Introducing the Circle Of Security Parenting Programme: Your Powerful Tool To Create A Secure Base For Your Child To Develop Resilience In The Face Of Adversity
This could be your story too… Even if your ex is a narcissist and is trying to control your life…
Children who have a narcissistic parent grow up experiencing a lot of insecurity. Couple that with divorce or separation and the outcomes have the potential to be devastating. Narcissists are chaotic and bounce between neglectful and engulfing, giving children (and you) little freedom to explore their own world and make decision for themselves.
Are you ready to shift your focus from your ex and put all of your attention on your relationship with your children?
The programme runs over 9 weeks and consists of 9 weekly one and half hour online sessions with Una Archer, the founder of Parenting After Separation and a registered Circle of Security Parenting facilitator, and Sarah Squires, Founder of The Nurturing Coach. These are group sessions and consist of:
Between sessions you will begin to develop more awareness as you go about your day-to-day parenting. It isn’t about doing more, it’s about doing differently. We recommend for those of you who wish to take things a little deeper, that you commit to 10 minutes of reading and journalling on most days to support your learning and develop a deeper sense of self-awareness
Powell, B.,Cooper, G., Hoffman, K. (2013) The Circle of Security Intervention: Enhancing Attachment in Early Parent-Child Relationships. New York: The Guilford Press
Una Archer is the founder of Parenting after Separation, a registered Circle of Security Parenting facilitator and Brainspotting practitioner. She helps parents to minimise the impact of separation on their children and to resolve emotional or behaviour issues that may have cropped up. Her experience of creating a new life after separation and assisting many other parents to do the same helped her to develop a distinctive relationship-based approach to parenting after separation that puts children’s emotional security at the heart of every parenting decision.
Narcissists thrive on conflict and so in most cases they are the party creating the conflict. However, you have been conditioned to respond in certain ways and that can create either external conflict (arguing) or internal conflict within you. Whilst you can’t change your ex, you can learn to manage your emotions and this programme will help you to manage those triggers.
Transitions between houses can be a cause of great conflict and anxiety for both you and the children. Whilst you can’t control how your children are treated in your exes care, you can ensure that you create a secure base in your relationship with them which gives them the skills and confidence to explore life and manage challenges.
Narcissism is based on a disorganised attachment style, with parents flipping between neglectful and engulfing quickly so children struggle to structure their attachment to their parent. This can create an insecure attachment in the child. In addition to that, you may well have an insecure attachment style as well which increases the changes your child will develop an insecure attachment. The Circle Of Security Programme helps you to not only create a secure base for your child but also reparent yourself and create a secure base within yourself. This can have a huge positive impact on the relationship and long term outcomes for your children.