I can hear you now shouting at me that I don’t know what I am talking about. How dare I victim shame. I don’t know what it’s like.
Well you’re wrong. I do know what it’s like. I have seen it up close and personal and I have worked with hundreds of parents who have a narcissistic ex. I know only too well what is going on and I am telling you this not to shame you or blame you but to empower you.
First let’s rewind.
They didn’t listen to you. They certainly didn’t care what you thought. They were constantly gaslighting you with lies, making you look and feel paranoid. They used the kids to gang up on you. They did whatever they wanted. And you did whatever you were told.
You felt defeated. You would try to argue back but they would argue harder and uglier. The kids got caught in the middle. There was rage, silence, lies, manipulation and control.
But something changed. You got out. So what was it?
The judge? Cafcass? Social worker? Psychologist?
Of course not. It’s you.
But you are so used to giving away all your control that you are looking to someone else to fix this.
Fast forward
You carry on as you are. You get more angry. More frustrated. People are listening to you less and less. You are erased and irrelevant.
Plus you are thousands of pounds out of pocket. You’ve lost years of your life embroiled in a court battle. And you haven’t had a relationship with your children in years.
That’s the reality if you don’t take back control. If you keep hoping that the latest Cafcass initiative will help your FCA spot the signs of PA. Or if you join enough PA awareness groups and write enough angry tweets, the world will turn on its axis and PA won’t exist. Or if you send enough complaints someone will finally listen.
And it MIGHT happen.
But is “might” good enough for your kids?
Surely you want to find that same strength that got you out in the first place?
Right now you have PTSD and are struggling to think straight. The pain is killing you and you want some relief but the longer it goes on, the worse your symptoms get and the worse your symptoms get the harder you find each court battle. You get weaker and your ex gets stronger.
I wrote Get Court Ready because I kept seeing, time and time again, parents who were angry, frustrated, agitated and losing. Whilst I 100% understand the why’s, what stood out for me was that the longer things went on, the more they dug their heels in and the more obstinate and aggressive they would become.
They had given their ex everything they had hoped for and more.
So they call in you. You who has PTSD and is stuck in fight/flight/freeze or flop responses. Suddenly it’s a full on play. And you fit right into the role the ex has written for you.
They say you are angry, your fight response kicks in and you shout back. You look angry. Big tick for the ex.
They say you are unstable, your flight response kicks in and you break down. Big tick for the ex.
They say you are abusive ……. Conclusion drawn.
It’s so easy to get caught up in it and it’s not your fault you have PTSD. But you have a choice now. You can take back control for yourself. You can stop playing the role they have written. You can change. Or not. It’s up to you. Honestly, this course is not for you if:
You think everyone else is to blame
You aren’t prepared to accept any responsibility
You want everyone else to change but you
You like the drama
You want someone else to fix this
Get Court Ready will give you all the skills, insight and guidance you need to not only harness that power but to believe in yourself.
You don’t have to buy Get Court Ready, you can of course keep doing what you are doing. If that’s your choice I wish you all the luck in the world but suspect I will see you in 5 years when you have exhausted all other avenues and aren’t any further ahead and have about £250 left for one last throw of the dice.
Or, you can take that step now and fast forward to a new life. One where you get to see your children grow up. You have uninterrupted contact with them. You see them open their presents on Christmas day and birthdays. You get the homemade father’s day cards. You get to embarrass them in front of their friends and wipe away their tears when their first boyfriend breaks their heart. Celebrate when they score that winning goal.
It is of course your choice although it doesn’t seem like much of a choice to me.
After an abusive relationship your whole body is in survival mode which means your brain is not functioning at full capacity, which already puts you on the backfoot. This first module is your wake up call. You will begin to activate the parts of your brain you need for this battle and start to form an action plan.
Your ex fired the first shot and so you are using all your energy on damage limitation which is exhausting and frustrating. This module will give you the skills and understanding to unpick the narrative, present the truth and trigger the ex to reveal their true colours.
Everything you say and do is being judged and so it is important your communication is spot on. This is so much more than position statements or the words you speak. This module will look at all the hidden aspects of communication and provide you with some powerful tools to ensure your message is received loud and clear.
Your ex knows exactly what buttons to press to get you to act exactly as they want you to which is then misinterpreted by professionals. Learning what your own triggers are will take away their power and put it right back in your hands.
Your ex will have left you feeling powerless and this situation is no better. BUT you are the key to changing this situation and when you believe that you really can achieve anything. This module will help you to flex your superpowers and develop the confidence to kick ass.
The children often seem to be forgotten in this process and despite looking like they are very powerful, they are actually incredibly vulnerable. This final module equips you with all the tools, including a specialised parenting plan outline, to ensure the best outcome for the children.
On the other side of the enrollment is your Get Court Ready programme. It has been tried and tested and already started to rebuild relationships and we are so happy to see you have that in your life too.
Why is it just £47 for lifetime access?
Right now life is tough. We have entered a period of uncertainty with many exes using the Coronavirus to their advantage by stopping contact. The current guidance from Family Court is that hearings will still take place but most likely using video conferencing facilities. This can add an extra layer of anxiety and so we feel it is more important than ever to be fully prepared.
This whole program is the same price as just one hour with a solicitor because we want as many people as possible to reconnect with their children and re-build strong, loving relationships. You get lifetime access so you can rely on this as a resource however long this takes and you can work through at completely your own pace. More than that though, you will have the best possible preparation for the next act of your play.
*Payment Plan available*
As part of my desire to reduce time spent in court which could be better spent having fun with your children and to overcome the financial barrier which sometimes is there for parents and be able put forward your best case with all the knowledge and skills you will learn on this course, I am personally adding in these bonus resources to give you the best chance of success in court:
A McKenzie friend can support you in court, take notes and advise you on the day. We have pre-booked you a session with someone local to you.
Designed to answer all those questions you have about representing yourself in court, if that’s what you choose to do.
Learn about why and when Cafcass will become involved in your case, what to expect and their obligations.
This guide provides you with insider knowledge about what Social Workers are looking for and how you can best represent your case.
This is all about providing you with the tools to stay the course. The ex is obsessed with the victory and so you need all the strength you can get as will your children. Things won’t always go your way so this guide provides practical tools for you and your children to build your “bounce-back-ability”
This workbook is a great compliment to the course as it helps you to develop your assertiveness skills and set some firm boundaries which will keep you and your children safe both now and in the future
Throughout the course we are looking at developing new, more powerful and more helpful habits. Like all new things this will feel odd at the start so the habit tracker is there for you to see yourself change until your new habits are as natural as brushing your teeth.
On the other side of the enrollment is your Get Court Ready programme. It has been tried and tested and already started to rebuild relationships and we are so happy to see you have that in your life too.
Why is it just £47 for lifetime access?
Right now life is tough. We have entered a period of uncertainty with many exes using the Coronavirus to their advantage by stopping contact. The current guidance from Family Court is that hearings will still take place but most likely using video conferencing facilities. This can add an extra layer of anxiety and so we feel it is more important than ever to be fully prepared.
This whole program is the same price as just one hour with a solicitor because we want as many people as possible to reconnect with their children and re-build strong, loving relationships. You get lifetime access so you can rely on this as a resource however long this takes and you can work through at completely your own pace. More than that though, you will have the best possible preparation for the next act of your play.
*Payment Plan available*