Narcissism is a character trait which is identified as being obsessed with self. They have a grandiose view of themselves and their entitlements. They will do whatever it takes to be centre of attention and be admired.
Every single one of us has come across a narcissist in our lives at some point. It could be that boss who used to take the credit for everything and shift the blame quickly when they were at fault. Or that person who cuts in front on you in the car park to nick the last space. Even a recently elected president ......
It goes without saying that being in a relationship with a narcissist will revolve around them. When you are dating they will be charm personified and have an aura about them which you will find devilishly attractive. But if you take a moment to listen you will notice that they speak about themselves A LOT. They may ask you a question but they probably won't listen to the answer. They will become very jealous and possessive, probably very quickly. You see to a narcissist you are no more than property to them. They will do as they please with you and care very little about your feelings. In fact you will probably think that they don't have any feelings. And you'd kind of be right. Narcissists don't feel the way you and I feel. They have zero empathy. If it isn't about them, they don't give a damn.
If you're unsure if your partner is a narcissist why not take our FREE quiz
As you can see from the pie chart on the left, emotional abuse is the weapon of choice of a narcissist. Even though this was from research on men, I know that women's statistics will back this up. Narcissists are master manipulators. They can sniff out your weak points like a blood hound. And then they will turn the knife by using those weaknesses against you. They will gaslight you and make you think you are crazy. They will destroy your self esteem and confidence. You won't recognise yourself once you have been with a narcissist because they get deep into your mind and twist everything you ever thought you knew.
Having spoken to hundreds of victims of narcissist abuse, I can honestly say lives are beyond ruined. Victims have been separated from their children for years on end due to parental alienation. Some have been stabbed or run over. ALL have been left feeling beaten.
If you are in or have been in a relationship with a narcissist, you absolutely can recover. The first step is to accept that there is no rationalising of the narc's behaviour. Your brain is wired very differently and so you will never get the answers you seek or understand how and why they could be so cruel. The way to recover is to focus only on yourself. You are a wonderful, caring and loving person. The narcissist chose you because of your empathetic nature but don't let it change you. Learn to love yourself. Know the signs to protect yourself in the future. Talk to others and NEVER feel ashamed.
If you feel like you are at the bottom of Everest and have no idea how to start to heal, book in for your FREE 1 hour "Break Free" session with Sarah and we can put a plan together to help you overcome your narcissist (past or present). Sessions can be in our discrete Lincoln clinic or over Skype
Emotional Abuse and Narcissist Abuse in Lincoln
The Nurturing Coach