Your partner may tell you regularly that they love you. But do they show it. Love is about how you make someone feel and abuse makes people feel alone, disgusting, unworthy and afraid. That is NOT love.
They may even have made you feel that you deserve all of this. That it's your fault. If your parents treated you the same way, you probably believe this. That something is wrong with you, that no-one could ever really love you so you should be grateful for what you have.
Maybe you are clinging on to the person you fell in love with. The one who seemed so perfect. But abusers and narcissists put on a mask in those early days. They are a chameleon. Becoming exactly who you need them to be in order for them to hook you. But pretty soon the mask slips and their true colours are revealed. They become controlling and strip away your confidence piece by piece until you are completely under their control.
They will use everyone and everything around you to hurt you and keep you under their control. When you try to stand up to them, this angers them more and they threaten you, your children and your family and friends.
You, your children and pets are simply possessions to them. To be used and abused to get what the abuser wants. But no-one would believe you because in public they are wonderful. Everyone loves them and thinks they are so kind. So then you start to question yourself. Are you imagining it all? Or you must be really bad to bring it out in them.
They are obsessed with how others view them and anything that threatens that image, is a danger to them and they will do ANYTHING to prevent that from happening.
They've probably told you that if you ever left you would never see the children or that they would kill you (or someone you love).
But getting over a narcissist is possible. Narcissists have weaknesses too and once you understand how they work you can begin to break free. It starts with you believing that you deserve more. And understanding that you did nothing wrong to make them this way. It is who they are and they chose you because you fulfilled their need. You are a good person who wanted to believe the best in them and you were wrongly punished for that.
Breaking free is about understanding that you were a victim. That you did nothing wrong. That you deserve better and that you can be happy and loved. It's about taking back control of your own life.
Sarah is the only expert on getting over narcissistic relationships in Lincoln
Sarah is the only expert in getting over narcissistic relationships in Lincoln.
To start your journey to freedom book yourself in for your free 1 hour "Break Free Session" with Sarah where we will tackle the NUMBER ONE problem you are facing right now and help you to finally break free. If you are in Lincoln, we can have your "break free from narcissist abuse session" in our clinic or over the phone or Skype. If you live elsewhere in the world, we can do it over the phone or Skype.