Following divorce or separation, some personality types are unable to regulate their own feelings of sadness, regret, pain and self doubt (all normal responses to the end of a significant relationship). They therefore blame the other party for EVERYTHING and triangulate the children into the narrative.
Here at The Nurturing Coach, we focus on the most severe cases of alienation which are perpetrated by an individual with a Cluster B Personality Disorder (most often Narcissistic PD or Borderline PD). We use the attachment model explained by Dr Craig Childress in his book Foundations to describe the psychological construct of Attachment Based Parental Alienation. Read more at What is attachment based parental alienation?
Alienation is a complex issue and not widely understood in the therapeutic community. Due to personal experience of this insidious type of abuse, we decided to specialise in this area and create a range of support services to help you navigate this psychological quagmire and eventually find the peace, love and harmony you want, need and deserve.
These cases require a unique strategy and without that expertise you will continue to loose ground and maybe contact with your children. Our specialist strategy calls can help.
We set up our sister company Get Court Ready Ltd so we could focus on court support.
You have probably not long separated and were under the illusion that your ex would put aside whatever animonisty they felt for you and do what was best for the children. You are quickly learning that isn’t the case and you feel like you have quicksand under your feet. You can’t seem to get through to them and things just get worse and worse.
You need our Ultimate Guide To Dealing With A Difficult Ex.
Now you realise what you are facing, you have a hunger for knowledge. You need to understand exactly what you and your children are experiencing to make some sort of sense of it. You have turned your anger into action and you are preparing yourself for battle.
We have two resources available for you at this stage.
Our Parental Alienation toolkit which has over 10 hours of video educational materials, articles written by experts in the field plus presentations on parental alienation written by legal and psychological experts. (FREE instant access)
Our Dealing with the aftermath of Narcissistic Abuse bundle which consists of 3 ebooks – narcissistic families, parental alienation and PTSD. (99p instant download)
There is no other option but to take legal action. Your child’s rights and your parental rights are being violated. However, if you go into the process all guns blazing, you will get falsely labelled as the abusive one. Your ex is going to try and set you up to take the fall for all their shitty behaviour plus a load of other horrific stuff you haven’t done. It’s all part of their plan to show the world that the problem was you all along and they are whiter than white. Without the right guidance and strategy you are walking into a trap which will cost you more than just financially.
Here is where our Get Court Ready programme comes to the rescue. It includes a free Parental Alienation Survival Guide plus trauma recovery tools to ensure you are fit and ready to face this battle. (£57 instant access)
Ambiguous grief is the painful process of dealing with the loss of someone who is still alive but with whom you no longer have a relationship with. Alienated parents feel this loss acutely. It is an emotional roller-coaster, it changes your identity as an individual, a parent and as a human being, and can lead to depression and isolation from others. It is hard for anyone who hasn’t experienced it to understand because your children are alive but the relationship is, to all intense and purposes, is dead and so you grieve and have hope at the same time. It is a painful paradox and one which outsiders will say “move on” or “they’ll come back some day” without realising the pain it inflicts. They wouldn’t say it to someone who had just buried their child and yet you feel the same pain.
Therapy can help you to learn to live with the loss and adapt to changes which come along. We can hold a safe space to long for your child to return AND grieve for the time you have lost.
Alienation breaks you. There is no shame in that. It rips you to your very core and in order for you to prepare yourself for the next stage of your life (which hopefully includes reunification with your child), you need to repair the damage done.
Through our own journey, we have found that alienation magnified many pre-existing wounds and beliefs we held about ourselves and which, on some level, contributed to our situation.
Our Repair Programme (coming soon) will share tools for you to:
Alienation isolates you not just from your child but from yourself. It triggers beliefs such as:
Therefore the journey back to your child must start with a journey back to yourself.
Our revolutionary Reconnection programme will guide you through the process of reconnection with:
We will also share with you the tools to become a more conscious parent, a spiritual guide and healer to help energetically reconnect you with your child, the bond which can never be broken but must be nurtured.
Starting April 2022