I get asked so many times “how do I prove narcissistic abuse in family court?” and so I wanted to answer that with the top five ways to do so.
The likelihood is that you have been trying to get people to take your abuse seriously for a while now.
But each time you attempt to explain what you have been through, your ex has already thrown a grenade your way and so you have to defend yourself against it. You keep coming off worse and everyone is lapping up your exes lies.
Or they discount your experience, leaving you feeling gaslighted yet again and angry, frustrated and untrusting of a system you thought would help you. This can lead you to act out and blame the professionals, ruining the relationship and pushing them deeper into your exes camp.
Well in this blog, I am going to share with you 5 powerful ways to prove narcissistic abuse so that you can learn how to beat a narcissist in court.
Focus on presenting your evidence
Your evidence has to be organised and relevant. Child focused. The sad truth is that Family Court does not care if you have been the victim of abuse or not, unless you can evidence the impact it has had on the child. Coercive control is deemed to be against an adult. Your work is to show the pattern of behaviour and that this behaviour is part of their personality (without mentioning a personality disorder). Reference examples of delay tactics, disrespecting the process etc rather than specifics. Eg “X has been late in submitting their evidence 6 out of a possible 7 times since we started proceedings in 2019” then why this isn’t in the child’s best interests (dragging on the process, keeping children in the conflict etc).
Show, Don’t Tell
Give the narcissist the stage to regale the audience with their tall tales, lure them into a false sense of security and then gently begin to challenge them on certain points. Narcissists HATE to be challenged especially when it implies they are inferior in some way. This will trigger their own emotional dysregulation and soon everyone will see the truth.
Stick With The Facts And Stay Calm
A common tactic used by narcissists is to throw so much mud in the hope that some of it sticks. This can leave you feeling like you have to fight fires all the time and trigger your own anxiety, making it harder for you to think straight and present your argument well. Stick with the facts of your case, use their false allegation and lies as evidence against them. Be objective rather than subjective as it is much harder to refute.
Another important part of proving narcissistic abuse in court is that you have been conditioned by your ex to react when they poke you and they know exactly what your triggers are. When you learn what those triggers are yourself and how to manage them, you are able to respond calmly rather than react as they expect you to. This will make them feel they are losing control which will trigger……
We all know how the narcissist acts in court so it is important for you to remember that despite the amazing performance they are putting on in court, their true self is lurking not far under the surface. They divert all negative attention away from themselves and onto you in order for them to regulate themselves for this performance but with a few carefully selected phrases designed to hit them where it hurts (their distorted thought schemas), that rage will bubble to the surface and be there for all to see.
So there you go. 5 ways to prove narcissistic abuse in court UK. What do you think? Would you add anything? Do you have any questions about any of the points?
If you are wanting support with each of these steps, I have specially designed the Get Court Ready to fully prepare you for court against a narcissistic ex. It is an online course consisting of 5 specific modules to help you prove narcissistic abuse, profile how narcissists act in court, alienation and refute false allegations. Check it out