Sometimes it's just good to hear you aren't the crazy one
I remember how crazy I sounded. At least to anyone who didn’t get it. There I was banging on about this lunatic woman, using the kids to hurt her ex and how we couldn’t leave the house for fear of someone seeing us because then she’s stop him seeing the kids. I admit I must have sounded delusional. And at times I really did wonder if I was.
After all I seemed to be the only person who could see what was really going on. When she offered to host the wake for her exes mother. I knew it was all about looking good and controlling the situation (and keeping me away). but when I voiced that, it made me sound like a complete bitch. She was doing something really kind. Yeah right!
It’s so hard when you are experiencing something that very few people (thankfully) have any real comprehension of. It adds to your isolation and fear. It took a long time for me to let go of that. For me to really accept what had happened and that I had been right all along. Not that it was ever about being right, it was about not being abused, but I made do with the validation of knowing I hadn’t imagined it and she really was a “psycho bitch”.
What got me through it, was educating myself. And so as part of my mission, I want to educate as many people as possible about the realities of dealing with a narcissistic parent so that you/they don’t have to go another day feeling totally alone and crazy.
I have my YouTube channel, where there is a wealth of information, and my courses which are specifically designed for those who have suffered the pain of a narcissistic parent. But I wanted to also provide access to free training. These will be longer videos where I discuss specific aspects of narcissistic parenting. and the psychology behind it.
Knowledge is power
When I started my journey, I read and watched as much as I could. I absorbed it because it brought me relief that I wasn’t imagining the behaving. It really had happened and it had a name.
It then turned into fascination. I was always interested in human behaviour (fancy myself as a behavioural analyst!) and wanted to know the why’s as well as the how’s.
And I think my behaviour is actually pretty normal in these situations. In order for us to find any peace or internal resolution for what happened, we need to understand why.
So this section of the website is dedicated to me sharing all I learnt in the hope it brings you the same relief and understanding it bought me.